An Assault on Early-Morning Ears

Does it bug anybody else when someone working at a cafe/fast food place/etc. is absurdly cheery? And I mean absurdly?

In particular, whenever I go to the Starbuck's drive-through, I wince whenever I hear the barista start talking on the speaker.

Barista: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD morning! Welcome to Starbuck's! How are you doing today?
Me (first thing in the morning, mind you): Um, okay, I guess.
Barista: Just okay?!?!?!
Me: (furrowing my brow and rubbing my forehead with a mini-groan) No...I mean, I'm doing pretty good...
Barista: Well, I want to hear that you're doing GRRRRREAT!!! (Tony the TIger, anyone?)
Me (gritting my teeth): FINE. YES, I'm GREAT, alright?!?! GREAT.

It's at this point that I regret ever having gone there and vow to myself never to go again despite their tasty yet oh-so-overpriced coffee and bakery treats. (I always give in though. I can't kick the habit, man!)

I hear someone attack the person next in line as I pull up to to the window to meet my obnoxious assailant face-to-face.

Barista: GOOOOOOOD MORNING!!!! Welcome to Starbuck's!
Next dude: Uh, good morning...
Barista: WOW! You sound TIRED! What did YOU do last night???

This is just one, particularly horrid time, but there have been others. Oh, have there been others....(*shudder*)


Please don't get me wrong: I have nothing against people that work in customer service positions, but after working so many myself, I find it incredibly hard to believe that someone is THAT happy to be serving all of their customers and loves their job THAT much. Yeah, be friendly and polite because that is part of your mission statement or whatever, but come ON.

If anyone responsible for such aforementioned conversations is reading this, know that you're ruining my day with your large dose of artificial sunshine. Yes, ruining. I'll be totally fine coming up to you, and by the time I'm through with you, I hate myself.

I can't stand fake people. In this context...in any context. Being yourself and not-so-perky, in my humble opinion, is a lesser sin than being a happy-robot that emits cavity-inducing sweets from its mouth and lodges them into your ear. Thank you, and have a good day.